Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Day Dreams and Real Dreams

Lately, I have been day dreaming about my life before kids. Pining for the 'freedom' and 'flexibility' that I used to have. We are going on vacation in a couple of months and I keep thinking about our vacations before kids - how relaxing and sleepy they were. Now, our vacations will include an extra long packing list and trial by fire.

Recently, my boys have been having a hard time getting along. [B] is becoming bolder by the day and [F] is completely caught off guard by his aggression. This combination results in me, literally, pulling them apart (mainly trying to get [B] to back down) when things get out of hand. In return, [F] is resorting to drive by attacks when his little brother least expects it, slaps to the face while he is running by or a push from behind. This leaves me feeling more like referee than mother.

I was telling a mama friend about these feelings that I am having. She started to laugh and said...

"You know how I told you we had friends from college over this past weekend? Well, they don't have kids and I found myself becoming envious of them all weekend. Is that bad?"

No, I don't think that it is bad to feel that way. I think it is normal......but, it is not an excuse to sink into a bad attitude about parenting.

I have to remember that one day soon, I will look back at these days, holding back sadness that they have passed so quickly.

And, I have to remember, that the 'good old days' weren't the perfection that I remember, they came with stresses of their own that I wished to escape.

And that now EVERYTHING (not just some things) I do comes with a very important, honorable responsibility which also has its rewards.

So, I say to myself
"yes, it is REALLY draining to bring up two boys who understand how to properly handle conflict resolution and work nicely with someone when they don't get their way, but the moment WILL come when they handle a tough situation and make me proud."


"yes, it may be a nightmare getting everyone through the road trip to our vacation....but once we are there.....I get to introduce two very special people to the ocean....and that is one of my life long dreams :)"


This post is part of my Diary.

- brook.

this post is linked up with....

GraceLaced Mondays

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